When we think of the holidays, we think of family, food, and friends; we make plans and look forward to re-connecting with loved ones to celebrate the occasion. For most of us, we consider the holidays a happy time, but for many people, it is anything but happy. In my profession, we refer to this as the holiday blues.
People who have experienced losses or struggles such as abuse, separation or divorce, family turmoil, or the death of a loved one, may approach the holidays with the feeling of dread instead of joy. Traumas and tragedies can steal the merry right out of the holidays. Painful memories of lost or failed relationships can make this time of year extremely difficult and conjure up feelings of sadness and dread instead of a joyous time to gather and celebrate. Get-togethers become hollow because of the decision to isolate instead of engage. Feelings of dread can spiral into despair, and the pain and loneliness allows for toxic thoughts which can lead to the unproductive question, “Why me?”
This blog is for anyone who finds themselves in this category. I’m here to tell you that while you can’t change the past, you don’t have to allow the past to be your future. One of my female heroes, Fannie Lou Hamer, who was a voting rights activist and a leader in the Civil Rights Movement, said, “I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.” She realized that she had a choice: stay in the rut she was in, or fight to do something about it. She turned anger into action and her status from victim to victor. That’s my challenge to you.
This year, choose to make the holidays a time you celebrate what you have and recall what God has brought you through, instead of what’s lacking or missing. If you’re ‘sick and tired’ of feeling lonely and alone, choose to celebrate what God can and will do for you (if you ask). For those who grieve or mourn, He promised “to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (Isaiah 61:3)
If God said He will do this for you, He will do this for you; but the promises of God are conditional. We have to do something, too. We have to choose to believe Him. We have to choose to trust Him. We have to choose to take Him at His Word and cast the ashes (hurt, anger, sadness, loss, rejection, resentment – whatever they are) away. Choose to replace them with the truth the enemy doesn’t want you to know – you are loved and loveable.
When we surrender our lives to God, our family is not just the one we’re born into; our family becomes all believers in Christ who are waiting for us to realize how much we are loved, needed, and valued.
‘Tis the season for a new outlook and a new you. It’s time to exchange beauty for ashes and happy for hollow.
Peace and Blessings,
Gail