Hello My Chickadees,
Children are a gift from God but we need His help, especially in this day and time, in raising them. I remember when I had my first child, my mother visited me and one of the first things she said to me was, “Well, my child, I’m going to tell you what a woman told me when I gave birth to you. Parenting is not easy, and you worry about them from the cradle to the grave. If they’re good, you worry about them. If they’re not good, you worry about them. They are never far from your heart and mind.” No truer words were ever spoken to me on the matter of being a parent.
In the Bible, God charges us with the mandate to “Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). The operative word in that piece of wisdom is SHOULD. We all know that kids don’t come with a manual. We do the best we can with what we have, and we pray that it’s enough. We pray for their health. We pray for their safety. We pray about provisions for them - and most of all we pray about their choices.
God gave all of us this wonderful mixed blessing called free will and choice; and although its purpose was all about love – which does not control, it can be a scary gift based on how it’s used. We parents start realizing this when our kids are about two years old and we hear the word ‘NO’ fall out of their mouth as they go in the opposite direction from where we instruct them to go. It is in that moment that the train ride begins. We pour into our children wisdom, guidance, direction, discipline – which is also love; and we begin to plant God’s word in the soil of their hearts. We nurture them in the Assembly of God within His house and people, and we pray that everything we’ve said and done will take root and grow while showing them and showering them in love. At about 10 years old they begin to reason for themselves what they want, which is not always what you want for them. It is around this time that they are exposed to, and influenced by, the good, the bad and ugly that the world has to offer. We cannot be with our children 24/7 so we pray that our voice rings in their head when they are faced with the choice between what they should do, and what they want to do.
When our children approach the teenage years, life begins to get even scarier for us as parents. Our prayers become more fervent as we pray they have listened when their friends’ voices become the ones in their ear. It has been said that we rise or fall to the level of our friend; and the Bible warns that, “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). We are in competition not only with what they see, hear, and feel; but also with what can be public enemy number one, SOCIAL MEDIA. I usually advise parents of teens to pray and hold on for the ride, as our children become people that we hardly recognize. Adolescence is a time in which they know everything, you know nothing, and your efforts of training them gets dismissed as outdated since that was from ‘back in your day.’
We pray their safety as they trade wisdom for wants and we watch as their lives do the twists and turns like that train on the tracks we call life. A lot of twists and turns, tears and troubles, triumphs and tragedy, happen along the way to the destination of ‘when they are old they will not depart from it.’
When our children become adults, our role is to stand in the space of love and wisdom, as we continue to pray that they listened to what we imparted from the lessons we learned along the way. Our knees become brittle and bruised, as we endure watching the consequences of the choices they could have been spared had they listened. Like God, who is the Daddy of us all, we love them through their choices, as God comforts our broken hearts and reassures us He understands; as He has watched us do the same things.
Kahlil Gibran wrote a program entitled “Our Children” in which he says, “Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.” Our children, just like us, belong to God; and we must seek His face, wisdom, and guidance, as we ‘train them up in the way they SHOULD go.’ If you are like me, there are times in which we have to give them back to God as we pray for Him to see them through the choices that they make.
“Good Morning My Chickadees: Morning Messages From Mom” was inspired by my attempt to pour into my grown children all the love and wisdom life has taught me along the way. It began as text messages every morning addressing issues that life would present to them along their way. I soon realized that these messages came through me but did not belong to me, and I needed to share them with the universe. No matter how old we are, our task becomes to always attune ourselves to love and wisdom as we journey along the train of life.
I close this blog with one of the messages from my book which addressed the issue of parenting. I quote a letter written by Jennifer McGrail for a parent magazine entitled: “My Promise To My Children.”
“For as long as I live, I will always be your parent first and your friend second: I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare and hunt you down like a hound when I have to, because I love you. When you understand that, I know you have become a responsible adult. You will never find anyone else in your life who loves, prays, cares, and worries about you more than I do. If you don’t mutter under your breath, ‘I hate you’ at least once in your life, I am not doing my job properly.”
My Chickadees who are parents, or will be parents, the job of parenting is just that; a job, and it is not easy. It will often bring us to our knees to seek guidance and help from our heavenly Daddy, who knitted the children in our womb and entrusted us with them; but in the end, it’s worth it.
Peace and Blessings to you and your Family,
Gail
PS. Graduations are upon us, and “Good Morning My Chickadees” would be a wonderful gift to give to that graduate who is stepping into the next phase of their lives. It’s a treasure trove of wisdom - messages rooted in Scripture and inspired by the Holy Spirit to assist us in training our children and ourselves in the way we should go. Check out my website or Amazon to get your copy.